Baby

Alexa Marina Smith joined our family on April 23, 2013.  I have added her birth story, sort of long.

     In 2008 Aaron had just graduated from the University of Utah, and had been accepted to Optometry School, our lives were going perfectly according to our plan.  Knowing we were going to be in California for a number of years we thought that it would be the perfect time to start our family.  Well, 2008 came and went and still no baby 2009, 2010, no baby.  The years were quickly passing us by without the blessing of a baby.
     I remember the day as if it were yesterday.  It was June 2010, I was working at St. Jude Hospital in California in the Physical Therapy department.  I had received a voicemail from the doctors office asking I give them a call back, when I returned their call I was informed children could only be a part of our family through something called IVF, and even then the chances were uncertain.  I was devastated and confused wondering why my righteous desires were not being fulfilled. 
     We had previously considered getting a pet but it was this news that pushed me over the edge. The next few weeks were spent scouring over dogs at different pounds around the Orange County area.  Every weekend we would attend adoption fairs looking for the perfect pet for us.  We got our sweet dog Mazie from the Orange County pound, she was only 2 months old. A small, sweet ball of white fur.  I got up at 5 am to go stand in line as it was first come first serve to pick out a dog.    I remember picking her up she was so small and cuddly.  She made me feel that I was almost a mom to something.  She truly helped me to get through some though days.  Although we were eager to get the IVF process going, but we both felt that it was not the right time.
     Two years later, Aaron graduated from Optometry School in May of 2012 and we felt like we were about to embark on a new life, a life without school, something we had not known in all the years we were married, we were excited.  We were so blessed to find a job in Utah, one that was close to family.  Once Aaron had accepted the position I made an appointment with the fertility clinic to get a consultation and start IVF. In June 2012 we started the process of IVF.
     August 1, 2012 was transplant day.  They had collected 20 eggs from me and fertilized them.  Two of the very best looking embryos were implanted.  One of them was considered perfect and the other was almost perfect.  Five days later we were informed that none of the other embryos survived which means we were not able to freeze any for next time.   On August 17th I took a blood test and it was positive.  Only 1 of the embryos took.
     I was ecstatic, but at the same time so scared that it was too good to be true.  When I was 20 weeks pregnant, Aaron and I made a video to announce to family and friends that we were expecting a baby girl, she was due April 22, 2013.
     On the morning of April 22, 2013 I lay in bed asleep. I was awoken at 1:00 am by what I thought was a contraction, and it was.  I lay there for about an hour until I decided to get up and take a shower to see if that would help me to relax.  The contractions did not subside and continued to progress.  I woke Aaron up at 3:00 am to let him know I thought that I was in labor.  We stayed home dealing with the contractions until later that afternoon around 3:00pm when we went to the hospital.  We got checked in and the nurse checked me to see how far dilated I was, I was at a 4.  The hospital will only let you stay if you are at a 4 or more, we decided to stay.  My plan from the beginning was to labor without medication.  My reasons were simple, I felt that I had taken so many medications and required so much medical intervention to get pregnant that I wanted to do something that was"natural," or normal, by not getting medication during labor.
     We prepared for the event of labor by taking a Bradley Method Class that was held at the local Birth Sweet.  We however were planning on having the baby at the hospital. The classes were designed to teach us how to deal with the pain of labor. Aaron and I practiced our pain techniques and felt we were ready. We even hired a doula to come with us to the hospital to assist us in the labor process. 
     My entire labor progressed very slowly.  I was in and out of the tub, the whole time having Aaron by my side pushing on pressure points to help relieve some of the pain.  I don't think he ate or drank the entire time, he was so focused on helping me with whatever I needed. 
     By 8pm Monday night I had only progressed to a 5.  It was going so slow.  Most of my labor pain was in my lower stomach.  The doula kept handing me warm towels to put on my stomach to help sooth the pain.
      My doctor came into the room around 10pm and we decided to brake my water.  After my water had been broken I quickly dilated to an 8.  Two hours later at 12am, I was still dilated to an 8.  I was in so much pain that my mind was getting away from me.  I felt as though I was going crazy.  The doctor came back to the room at that time, 12am, and said that the time had come to make a decision, that decision was whether or not to get an epidural to calm my body down so that I could get this baby here, or to continue as I was trying to endure.  I felt so torn but I somehow knew that my body was starting to shut down, I decided to get the epidural at 12am, after being in labor for 23 hours. It was quite the feeling to go from extreme pain one moment to then being completely relaxed and calm the next. 
     Almost 4 hours later at, 3:45am on Tuesday morning my body had still not progressed any further, I was still only dilated to an 8. My body was still contracting on it's own but every time a contraction would come the babies heart rate would drop.  They put me on oxygen to see if that would help the baby not be in distress during each contraction, it didn't help.  The doctor came back and told me that he thought her head was too big to fit through my pelvis he wanted to put me on pictocin but because her heart rate was dropping with my contracts he was afraid to give me pictocin. At this point he informed me that there was only one other step to take, C-Section. I immediately broke down into tears, this was not my plan, how could it have come to this I thought. With tears streaming down my face Aaron gave me a big hug and a kiss and reassured me that I had done all that I could, it was time to get her here.  Aaron got all suited up in his OR attire and they wheeled me down to the operating room.  Literally within minutes we heard her cry, Aaron and the baby were whisked away to get her cleaned up, while I lay there.  I was then wheeled back the room where I met up with Aaron and the baby, it was at that point that I got to hold her for the first time.
    As I think back on this experience I am still brought to tears, I am not sure exactly why however.  I am so grateful for modern medicine, had I lived in earlier times I might not have survived.  Still, I feel a little defeated.
     Through all my tears, my ultimate goal was to have a healthy baby and she is.  Weighing in at 7 lbs 11 oz and 20 inches long.  She has already brought us so much joy.